This has to be the most useless post of them all. I get irritated by everything around me. Nothing seems to be going right. In fact, whatever could have gone worse, has. I fail to explain to myself why I am sulking. All conversations are useless, forced and random. I believe that random is the most random word that people keep on using (abusing?) randomly.
The world was never meant to be my oyster. There is so much that I could have done. There is so less that I have actually done. I feel guilty. I think I am insane. Wow, some people are of the opinion that insanity is cool. It never was. It never could be. Why should it concern me in any case?
It is disturbing. But I still enjoy a sound sleep. Perhaps everything is not that bad then? Or am I too lethargic to bother? I can't concentrate. I am the laziest person that I know. I can't possibly better myself there. I am good at something, it seems. When was the last time I was the best at anything? I think I must celebrate, by happily biding another day doing nothing. And revel on the kindness of time. Time is very kind. No matter what you do with it, it just passes on. And then I start sulking again.
I want to disconnect myself from everything. Just like every sentence in this post is.
(Do not take me seriously)
Monday, April 25, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Idea to launch "Lets Keep Bollywood Clean" series soon
Readers from outside India will find it difficult to understand the context, so it would be good if you could watch the following videos over and over again to get an idea of what we've been subjected to during this world cup - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gndCneFC9FM and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hU-qTRO3wbo
Spurred by the success of their "Lets Keep Cricket Clean" advertisements, our sources have reported that telecom major Idea is thinking of launching the next series with the theme "Lets Keep Bollywood clean". The series may be launched anytime after the World Cup and IPL get over and Bollywood is back to producing trash week after week.
"After cricket the most popular fields in India have to be Bollywood and politics. But the task of cleaning politics is tougher than South Africa winning the world cup ever, with so many corrupt ones around and the absence of good role models therein, so we chose Bollywood, we believe it is something where we can definitely make a contribution.", said Mr Anand Raja, head of Marketing, Idea Telecom. The telecom major plans to recruit a mix of yesteryear stalwarts like Dev Anand, Rajesh Khanna and stars of today including Amitabh Bachchan and the 3 Khans as their champions. "The cost incurred would be huge and the ego clashes are likely to lead to complete chaos, but I think all these guys will be very motivated by the novel idea", Mr Raja hoped. On being asked what issues are they likely to harper on, he added "The ads will be directed towards getting rid of the obviously stupid actors and directors in Hindi movies". Mr Raja was reluctant to take specific names, but speculations are rife about Zayed Khan, Dino Morea, Shamita Shetty, Sameera Reddy and Ram Gopal Verma being in the list, along with the remaining cast and crew from Dus, Plan, Cash and Luck. Our correspondents went ahead and asked if Abhishek Bachchan - Idea's brand ambassador and a very useless actor - will be targetted as well, on which they were promptly shown the door.
The news has taken Bollywood by storm and we are receiving very varied reactions from different quarters. Newcomers in the industry are very happy with the development due to the possibility of elimination of some competition, although a few like Tusshar Kapoor, Esha Deol and Fardeen Khan (who are young to the industry inspite of having their debut release some 10 years back) are said to be very apprehensive that they may figure in the list as well. Dharmendra is reported to have alerted his lawyers already lest someone in his family finds his way to the hall of shame. "The Deols are the butt of most B-Town jokes, you know, better that we prepare ourselves for all eventualities", he clarified. Ram Gopal Verma is said to have laughed off hysterically, saying "My experience tells me that this is going to be a big, big flop", although he did sound a tad surprised in figuring in the list of probables, and has vowed to remake all his flop movies until they are declared a hit. Sameera Reddy is reportedly happy to finally find herself in any list of any sort, and Anubhav Sinha (of Dus, Cash and RA. One fame) seriously doubts if anyone remembers his name. On the other hand, Abhishek Bachchan sounded confident, "Since Paa is going to be one of the champions, I think I can peacefully enjoy my colleagues being whacked in public."
Among others, when our reporter contacted Irrfaan 'the thinker's actor' Khan, he applauded the initiative, but then raised a pertinent point - "Isse to industry khaali ho jayegi. Kya kar rahe ho bhai?" Unfortunately, his opinions, like his movies, were promptly ignored. Aamir Khan took an hour to explain why the list has to be made very carefully and that the criteria must be very cleanly defined. Our reporter believes that there was an obvious plan from his side to make sure that nephew Imran Khan did not make the cut, but could not confirm the same. Tusshar Kapoor, in his defence, retorted, "Look, I can't be a part of this, I am the dumbest, er, the best dumb actor in Bollywood" and said that industry heavyweights like Sharman Joshi and Kunal Khemu would vouch for him. The longest surviving struggling actor Suniel Shetty said that he did not believe in competition and awards and would ignore the entire thing. Dino Morea and Harman Baweja were not aware that they were actors, and hence are certain that they will be spared the ignimony.
Fans and moviegoers around the country have generally welcomed the move, and the Idea office has received numerous requests to include the most hated ones in the list. However, a group of 9 people proclaiming themselves as "the biggest fan group of Fardeen Khan" have threatened to disrupt train services between Delhi and Mumbai if FK Junior was badmouthed on public forums. We tried to contact Zayed Khan fans as well, but could not do so because noone in the country showed the guts to call himself one.
Some people are also very upset with the entire concept, including Mohan, a die-hard cricket lover. "Seriously dude, these keep cricket clean ads themselves are very stupid, I mean if I were Kapil Dev and a reporter asked me that question, the only idea that I would suggest her was to get her brain checked for any abnormalities. I think it is very necessary to remove these ads if they wanted to keep cricket clean, they have completely screwed up my cricket-viewing experience. And to think that they'll come up with another such irritating series", Mohan frowned, as he started watching the highlights of the Zimbabwe vs Kenya match on Star Cricket for the 17th time.
We also tried to contact market competitor Airtel for any comments on the issue, but could not strike a conversation beyond "Are you there" in 32 attempts and gave up.
(I would like to thank Sujay Bedekar, Anandeshwar Dwivedi and Shubh Darpan among others for sharing my grievances, not to mention that I have shamelessly cogged a few lines here and there from their comments :D)
Spurred by the success of their "Lets Keep Cricket Clean" advertisements, our sources have reported that telecom major Idea is thinking of launching the next series with the theme "Lets Keep Bollywood clean". The series may be launched anytime after the World Cup and IPL get over and Bollywood is back to producing trash week after week.
"After cricket the most popular fields in India have to be Bollywood and politics. But the task of cleaning politics is tougher than South Africa winning the world cup ever, with so many corrupt ones around and the absence of good role models therein, so we chose Bollywood, we believe it is something where we can definitely make a contribution.", said Mr Anand Raja, head of Marketing, Idea Telecom. The telecom major plans to recruit a mix of yesteryear stalwarts like Dev Anand, Rajesh Khanna and stars of today including Amitabh Bachchan and the 3 Khans as their champions. "The cost incurred would be huge and the ego clashes are likely to lead to complete chaos, but I think all these guys will be very motivated by the novel idea", Mr Raja hoped. On being asked what issues are they likely to harper on, he added "The ads will be directed towards getting rid of the obviously stupid actors and directors in Hindi movies". Mr Raja was reluctant to take specific names, but speculations are rife about Zayed Khan, Dino Morea, Shamita Shetty, Sameera Reddy and Ram Gopal Verma being in the list, along with the remaining cast and crew from Dus, Plan, Cash and Luck. Our correspondents went ahead and asked if Abhishek Bachchan - Idea's brand ambassador and a very useless actor - will be targetted as well, on which they were promptly shown the door.
The news has taken Bollywood by storm and we are receiving very varied reactions from different quarters. Newcomers in the industry are very happy with the development due to the possibility of elimination of some competition, although a few like Tusshar Kapoor, Esha Deol and Fardeen Khan (who are young to the industry inspite of having their debut release some 10 years back) are said to be very apprehensive that they may figure in the list as well. Dharmendra is reported to have alerted his lawyers already lest someone in his family finds his way to the hall of shame. "The Deols are the butt of most B-Town jokes, you know, better that we prepare ourselves for all eventualities", he clarified. Ram Gopal Verma is said to have laughed off hysterically, saying "My experience tells me that this is going to be a big, big flop", although he did sound a tad surprised in figuring in the list of probables, and has vowed to remake all his flop movies until they are declared a hit. Sameera Reddy is reportedly happy to finally find herself in any list of any sort, and Anubhav Sinha (of Dus, Cash and RA. One fame) seriously doubts if anyone remembers his name. On the other hand, Abhishek Bachchan sounded confident, "Since Paa is going to be one of the champions, I think I can peacefully enjoy my colleagues being whacked in public."
Among others, when our reporter contacted Irrfaan 'the thinker's actor' Khan, he applauded the initiative, but then raised a pertinent point - "Isse to industry khaali ho jayegi. Kya kar rahe ho bhai?" Unfortunately, his opinions, like his movies, were promptly ignored. Aamir Khan took an hour to explain why the list has to be made very carefully and that the criteria must be very cleanly defined. Our reporter believes that there was an obvious plan from his side to make sure that nephew Imran Khan did not make the cut, but could not confirm the same. Tusshar Kapoor, in his defence, retorted, "Look, I can't be a part of this, I am the dumbest, er, the best dumb actor in Bollywood" and said that industry heavyweights like Sharman Joshi and Kunal Khemu would vouch for him. The longest surviving struggling actor Suniel Shetty said that he did not believe in competition and awards and would ignore the entire thing. Dino Morea and Harman Baweja were not aware that they were actors, and hence are certain that they will be spared the ignimony.
Fans and moviegoers around the country have generally welcomed the move, and the Idea office has received numerous requests to include the most hated ones in the list. However, a group of 9 people proclaiming themselves as "the biggest fan group of Fardeen Khan" have threatened to disrupt train services between Delhi and Mumbai if FK Junior was badmouthed on public forums. We tried to contact Zayed Khan fans as well, but could not do so because noone in the country showed the guts to call himself one.
Some people are also very upset with the entire concept, including Mohan, a die-hard cricket lover. "Seriously dude, these keep cricket clean ads themselves are very stupid, I mean if I were Kapil Dev and a reporter asked me that question, the only idea that I would suggest her was to get her brain checked for any abnormalities. I think it is very necessary to remove these ads if they wanted to keep cricket clean, they have completely screwed up my cricket-viewing experience. And to think that they'll come up with another such irritating series", Mohan frowned, as he started watching the highlights of the Zimbabwe vs Kenya match on Star Cricket for the 17th time.
We also tried to contact market competitor Airtel for any comments on the issue, but could not strike a conversation beyond "Are you there" in 32 attempts and gave up.
(I would like to thank Sujay Bedekar, Anandeshwar Dwivedi and Shubh Darpan among others for sharing my grievances, not to mention that I have shamelessly cogged a few lines here and there from their comments :D)
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